Why I Believe in Chi Alpha

Like most 18 year olds, I was both nervous and excited for college. I was excited about striking out on my own but nervous about where I was headed. Particularly because I hadn't decided on a major and had no idea what I was going to do with my life.

Written by Hannah F. Young

But I held fast to a quote by Frederick Buechner, “Vocation is the place where our deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”
 
Of course, I had no idea what that meant practically, but I was excited to find out.

However, I faced a lot of questions when I got to college:

• What exactly is the “world’s deep need”?
• What is my own “deep gladness”?
• Do I still have to go to church now that my mom isn't making me?
• How important is it really that I separate whites and colors when I do laundry?

 
Despite these questions (and many more), one thing I did know was that I wanted to be a better person as a senior than I was as a freshman. I just didn't know what that looked like or how to accomplish it. Then I discovered Chi Alpha. In Chi Alpha, I found fellow students who genuinely cared about me and I found a leadership staff that was committed to helping me grow. This means I was free to ask questions about my faith, about my classes, about my calling, and about all the issues in between.
 
I believe in Chi Alpha because it is a safe place to ask questions. It’s a place where people are willing to discuss the world’s deep need and your own deep gladness.
 
I don't know what questions you have - maybe you're wondering if Jesus is who he says he is. Maybe you're wondering if God has a plan for your life. Maybe you're wondering what the Bible says about poverty and homelessness. Whatever your questions are, there are people at Chi Alpha who want to sit down and walk alongside you. 

This is why I believe in Chi Alpha, because I found people willing to listen, learn and grow alongside me. 

My Prayer Life Has Been Stretched!

College was where my faith in God became an actual relationship. When I think about what led to this transformation, one of the things that stands out the most is that I learned what it meant to pray. I heard prayer described as a dialogue and two-way conversation, rather than a monologue that looks more like a to-do list. I realized quickly that I wanted to hear and experience God in the same way the people around me did.

One of the most radical changes in my prayer life came as a result of a suggestion from my mentor at the time. She suggested that I try journaling my prayers word for word. This single suggestion completely changed the way that I prayed and heard from God. Not only did it give me a new way to think through the things God was teaching me, it also gave me a record of my spiritual growth over a long period of time and a written testimony of God’s faithfulness in answering.

Written by Kristin Caldwell 

Through this kind of prayer journaling, my perspective on God and whatever situation I was in at the time began changing dramatically. There would be certain things that I told myself that would only make sense until I wrote them down. I also had thoughts run through my head that were too smart and made too much sense for me to have come up with them on my own. Through these kinds of prayers, God began to show me so much about Himself and His heart for the world. He also showed me a ton about my own heart in comparison with His.

My junior year of college I co-led a small group where halfway through the year our weekly meetings solely consisted of prayer for each other. Each member was struggling or wrestling with something big, so every week we would go around the circle and pray for each person individually and offer encouragement. So many chains were broken over those few months, and I am so excited to see where God has brought each of these amazing women of God since then.

When I think about everything I’ve learned over the past year, prayer has again been one of the most significant things God has stretched me in.

I believe that prayer changes things. Above all else, it changes us.

It forces our eyes off ourselves and onto God because it means that we are not in control and we don't have to be. Prayer gives us God’s perspective, which is so much bigger than ours ever will be. I think true prayer is surrendering our trust to God, having faith that He knows what He is doing. With this surrender, He challenges us to be used by Him and transform the world around us.

When You Don't Feel God

I’m naturally inclined to make decisions based on my feelings, so I’m familiar with the struggle of not feeling God and not knowing what to do about it. It’s something that has pushed me to grow in my faith and understanding of who God is and how He works in my life.

Written by Becca Pugh

I became discouraged in my walk with Jesus a couple of years ago because I wasn’t feeling Him with me when I sat down for a devotional time. I didn’t feel like He was speaking to me or moving in my life. Because I relied so heavily on my feelings to tell me what’s true, I became somewhat disillusioned with the idea of a personal relationship with God. How could I know that God is real and with me if I don’t feel Him there? How could I keep investing in a relationship that I didn’t feel great one hundred percent of the time? 

When we follow Jesus, it’s not going to feel good all the time. In fact, suffering is a part of our calling as followers. What Jesus does promise is He will be with us. He will be with us through it all and provide sufficient grace to follow Him. Because Jesus suffered everything that we as humans suffer, we can trust that He empathizes with us and is with us in our pain.  The hard part for us is knowing what to do when we don’t feel butterflies and warm fuzzy feelings all the time. 

When I don’t feel God, it’s easy for me to fall into doubt and fear. Does God really love me? Has He really called me to live out this lifestyle? Is He real? What I’ve been learning is that these feelings or thoughts of doubt don’t have lead me away from God. I have a choice in how I respond to these doubts and questions, and if my desire is to draw closer to God in all things, even when I don’t feel it or feel Him, then I can choose to bring these doubts to God.

I heard Pastor Heather Zempel of National Community Church recently say that going to God when we have doubts demonstrates great faith; it’s when we choose to run away from God in our doubts that we enter into unbelief. That was pretty significant to realize. It’s OK to have doubts and not feel God all the time. That doesn’t mean He’s not real, that my faith isn’t real or that He’s not with me. It just means that I have to choose to talk to God about it, who I already know is completely good and whose love for me is perfect. When I don’t feel God, I have to choose to believe in what God’s word says anyway, because what I’m feeling isn’t always an accurate gauge of truth. Blane Young, on staff with me at Chi Alpha at American University, frequently quotes Jon Bloom, saying that emotions are a gauge of what we’re experiencing but are not a guide.

It’s hard when I don’t feel God, because it can cause me to doubt His role in my life or even His existence at times. When I don’t feel Him, I need to press into what I know is true and what is written as true. Even if I don’t feel like those things are true, I have to choose to believe with my mind that they are the reality of this world and my life. 

Encouraging Bible Passages

Jesus speaking to His disciples: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

– Matthew 28:20

God speaking to Israel: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

– Isaiah 41:10 

Chelsey's Story

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Blane: Tell us a little about what took you from where you’re at, to kind of a little bit about your story more recently

Chelsey: Yeah, so going from like not really knowing if I believed in God or wanting that. I actually had a friend - this was back in sophomore or junior year of high school - who started bringing me to their youth group, and that was a really new thing for me. I thought it was a little strange, I was a little bit scared, but I kept going - not fully buying into all of it which sounds kind of mean. But, I was curious.

Blane: I love the honesty

Chelsey: So I was being exposed to Jesus and to God but I wasn’t really sure, and it was a little scary, but something in me like …. I kept going back every week. Even though I was a little bit like, “this is… I don’t know… I don’t know why this is so strange and new but theres something about the people there that I met at this youth group, it was like they had this extra spark. I love this community, I love the people, but i was still a little timid about following God, I didn’t really know what that meant. But last october I came to TNW for the first time and I absolutely loved it and it was so new and it was incredible, it just felt right, it felt like I was supposed to be here. I was sitting in one of the pews, it was one of the first times I came to TNW, and I’d just been sitting there in the back, just like wrestling with like, “ok, I know theres this God, and they tell me that there’s this God that loves me, but if I want to follow him what does that mean?” I thought like, I don’t know, a bush was going to talk to me or a whale was going to come” 

Blane: It’s happened before, so I understand why you might think that.

Chelsey: Because I didn’t know what it meant to really be a Christian, to accept God. So I was just sitting there and Mike was giving a sermon actually, and he said “if you want to accept Jesus into your heart you just, right now, right here, just ask Him and say you want to follow him”. And I was just sitting there like, “really? it’s that easy?” And I was a little unsure, but then all of a sudden it was like sirens started going off in my head. And it was like great, and I just kept getting this, “yes, yes, yes” and it was a really enthusiastic “YES!” I was like, “Wow! This is so exciting”. And I had my journal with me and so I was getting this message “yes. yes. yes”. And so in my journal I scribbled “YES” in big letters across the entire page, I was like “yes. Jesus”. It just hit me and I was like, “I want to do this”. 

Blane: As you look back on that moment, you talk about the sirens and Mike’s message, what was it… if someone was asking you what made you make that decision, where do those sirens come from maybe, what would you tell them if they were asking you that?

Chelsey: I think, I describe it as kind of like; in my life, I felt there was something bigger and I felt that all my good fortune, it wasn’t coming from me ~ something was out there. But I just couldn’t figure out what it was. And so when I came to TNW and I found that everybody was talking about this Jesus. It was kind of like the missing puzzle piece and just putting it in and it fit right there. It was like, “this is what I’ve been needing, this is what I’ve been looking for”. 

Blane: So you became a Christian through Chi Alpha at TNW, which is awesome, really awesome… really cool. It’s like the preverbal question like, now what? Like what’s changed about your life, or what stayed the same maybe?

Chelsey: Yeah, like I mentioned it before, but I thought like… we talked about this in Discovering Discipleship, so I thought like…my mind was like… there’s one moment in life that was gonna be a huge thing and all of a sudden I was going to change and then suddenly I would be a Christian and be a totally different person. And it wasn’t like that, I was thinking about it, and it’s like… my life didn’t really change. I didn’t become a different person but it feels like now that I identify myself as a Christian, it’s not that I changed but more like I’m becoming a better version of myself. So it’s different in that way.  

Blane: I know when we were talking at the Dav, because that’s the best place to talk about these kind of things, you mentioned… in that spark or in that “yes” moment, like after that from October to now… that there’s just been this hope and this joy. Tell us a little about that, because I know like I see you on the quad and I’m like, “Woah, she’s joyous! Wow I should smile more, this is my job!” Maybe tell me where that comes from, maybe tell everyone where that comes from for you. 

Chelsey: Yeah it was just like.. I just got so excited! I don’t know, its Jesus, why not be super excited? I’ve kinda been realizing like… once i’ve started getting more into Chi Alpha …I was like on fire all the time, super super energetic, I’ve learned to slow down and make sure I’m doing it for God. Because it’s really easy to get caught up in like, “I want to do everything”. Chi Alpha is a great thing with so many opportunities and great people. 

Blane: Chelsey we are honored to be a part of your story. 

Advice I Keep on Giving

The first time a student asked me for advice I was terrified. Sitting at that park bench in the hot Florida sun I began to sweat more than usual. I'd been approved as a Campus Missionary in Training just a few weeks before, but in that moment my words failed and my title seemed irrelevant. Of course I'd talked through problems with friends before, but never with someone who sought me out as a minister. To this day I can't remember what I told them to do, but their life didn't enter a downward spiral so I suppose it couldn't have been that bad. 

Written by Jon Rice

Now after 11 years of full time college ministry the advice they seek seems less daunting and more familiar. I also found some of the advice transcends the question and gets repeated in multiple contexts. Of all the things I've said to students, the thing I find myself repeating more often than not is simply that they are not alone. It's been articulated hundreds of different ways, but it means the same thing every time; you aren't alone in what you face. It's the greatest fear we have and the one thing Jesus guaranteed the disciples and all of us just before he slipped through the clouds.

Whether facing the darkest night of our soul or the best day of our life, we don't want to be alone. The knowledge that Jesus is with us in our extremes and still walks with us through our daily routine has a liberating effect. It helps remind us that it's not all up to us, we don't have to have all the answers or be perfect, and someone's with us who knows better than we do how we feel. It's comforting to think back to that moment on the bench and realize even then, in the midst of my fear, I was never alone.