Friendships vs. Spiritual Friendships

We float in murky waters.  The depth of our relationships is not determined by our sight alone- potential is worthless until we dive.  People are as dynamic as the waters are turbulent.  I think I’m complicated enough.  Do I really have to share in the complications of interaction?  

Although we don’t say it aloud, I think we share sentiments.  Like water is buoyant and pushes us back to the surface, so the complexity of relationships drive us to shallowness.  It’s so much easier to block our hearts- less vulnerability, less pain, less trust.  I’ve tottered in the shallow end in many of my relationships.

Written by Nick Holmstedt

Now, I think there is variation of depth even in spiritual friendships.  But our unifier (you know, God) is more than physical and emotional.  He is spiritual.  So are we, and if we neglect that area in our friendships then we neglect a part of ourselves.  When we interact in the spiritual we can relate along the path of eternity.  Our friendships might look dirtier like that murky water.  But when we swim through, we reach the clear blue of the ocean’s depths (don’t get washed away in this analogy’s incongruity).  

How can we breach the soul to reach this picturesque landscape of a relationship?  I’ve found the primary separator is pursuit.  I like metaphors, so here’s one: in geosynchronous orbit, the International Space Station races around the planet more than a dozen times a day.  To match the velocity and dock, a space shuttle would have to achieve a similar orbit- the distance from the earth in part determines the speed (so-called angular velocity).  Getting closer to earth speeds the vessel.  Our spiritual relationships should gravitate around God.  We match- or closely match- the orbit of our community and thereafter inherit similar speed.  We have to pursue God, so we consistently push ourselves closer to Him, gaining speed all the while.  Along with us are our friends who are also gravitating towards Him.  In this way, we are intimately connected.  Friends without this focus are like comets.  They pass by with fleeting curiosity, but cannot maintain a connection- their orbit is not focused on the nearby earth but on so many other curiosities that float through space.  No matter how long or how important they are, eventually they’ll fade into the darkness unless they surrender to the orbit of God.  

We must pursue God.  Relationships of eternal substance can exist only in light of His reality.  And, frankly, our growth stagnates unless we are eternally focused.  A good spiritual friendship borne of vulnerability and genuine compassion with a focus on God seems to be a predictor of sustainable growth and joy.  

Practical Devotional Tips That Worked for Me!

Written by Natalie Hill

One time a friend wrote me a note, folded it up, and tucked it into my journal for me to find the next time I went in it.  She knew I was feeling “stuck” in my devotional life.  At the top of the page it read, “A Helpful (but Incomplete) Guide To Your Quiet Time.”  It was a simple gesture - just a page torn out of a notebook with a couple thoughts written down - but I still look back on it even now.

Having a personal devotional life is important because we can always go further and deeper.  We continually grow in our understanding of Jesus, not just by learning more or reading more verses, but also by constantly being recharged by God, knowing that He truly is our daily bread.

But all of us struggle with being consistent.  We do well for a little while, but then we stop. My friend’s practical tips helped me with the sustainability and regularity of my quiet time.

One thing I know is that everyone has different preferences.  Some people (like me) are morning people, and others (definitely not me) are night owls.  Some people like white noise, and others need complete silence.  So it’s important to find what works best for you and to create an environment that brings you joy.  Because, after all, you should enjoy the one-on-one time you have with Jesus.  Here are some more thoughts:

 

Time

Find a time when you’re the most energized.  I like to do my devotions in the morning before work when I’m feeling refreshed.  I’ve found that it starts my day off well and dictates my thoughts, feelings, and actions throughout the day.  

 

Setting

Find a place where you’re at peace.  Solitude and privacy is important.  I’ve found that if I’m not somewhere private, I don’t feel comfortable praying or really losing myself in my quiet time.  I’m distracted and self-conscious.  So I’ll usually sit at my desk after my roommate leaves for work and open the blinds so the sun comes in.  Little things like that make a difference.  It’s also good to change up routine.  Go to a coffee shop or a park.  I have friends who love the Bishop’s Garden at the National Cathedral.  Sometimes you just need a change of scenery. 

I like to listen to music in the background and often make morning playlists (lately it’s included John Mark McMillan and All Sons & Daughters).  Music helps settle me.

Good food makes a huge difference.  In my friend’s note, she wrote, “Take something delicious with you.”  For me, that’s coffee in a favorite mug (the mug really does matter).  Maybe for others it’s breakfast or chocolate or a diet coke.  

Content

There have been times when I’ve journaled and read spiritual books but have left feeling empty because I didn’t fill up on God’s Word.  It’s easy to get caught up in the outside voices and forget that our best way to hear God’s voice is through His actual words in the Bible.  YouVersion is a great website with all kinds of Bible reading plans.  Taking notes helps me remember what I’m reading, and it’s good to look back on my thoughts and feelings.  And I think there are few things better in life than a good journal. 

Overall, I think the most important thing is to find out what works for you.  Once we get caught up on the rules and steps, we’ve lost the point.  Devotional life is about getting in God’s presence and growing in Him through His Word and through prayer.  It’s up to us to create a quiet time environment where we find joy. 

Three College Seniors Share Their Stories

Below, you can hear these seniors reflect on their time in Chi Alpha Campus Ministries at American University. Each of them discuss the benefits of being engaged in an intentional discipleship community and how God worked in them during their undergraduate career. 

My Degree & My Ministry

Written by Kristin Caldwell

I chose the college that I went to because it had a graphic design major and a Spanish minor. My plan was to somehow incorporate graphic design into mission work somewhere in Latin America. It didn't take me long into my college career to realize that perhaps I didn't enjoy graphic design quite as much as I thought I did. Certainly not enough to pursue as a career. And so I decided to change to photography, which I thought would be different. However, two years and a third major later, I was in my junior year and again feeling as though I still hadn't arrived at the right fit. 

Eventually I settled on Family and Consumer Sciences, which I chose before I even knew what is was. It’s the conclusion that I arrived at while praying with and receiving suggestions from friends. Upon doing some research, it did seem like it might make sense in mission work even though I didn’t know at that point exactly what kind of mission work I wanted to do. When translated into something people have actually heard of, Family and Consumer Sciences means Home Ec, or how to run a home. I didn’t know how exactly it would apply, but I figured it would at least be more relevant than graphic design.

The type and location of ministry that I'm doing now is a lot different than I would have expected going into college. I'm still trying to figure out how exactly my major relates to campus ministry. There are areas where it sort of applies, but nothing much more than that. The classes that do seem to be the most relevant for ministry were the ones that I took for fun—such as Basic Counseling, Jewish Literature, and Sacred Books of the World.

Perhaps more than anything else, my major taught me skills that I can use as connection points with students. Some of the skills that I learned in my classes have become hobbies, and that kind of thing can be used as things to do together. Perhaps things like cooking and sewing together aren't specifically discipleship, but they are ways of having fun, connecting relationally, and building community outside the normal setting.

One other super practical class I took was called Relationships and Personal Development. This class focused on learning how to empathize, communicate feelings, and resolve conflict. These are all super relevant to skills to have in ministry and life in general, and I think that they have helped me become a better communicator.

My degree isn't the most relevant in terms of traditional employment. I'm still very much trying to figure out why I felt like this is where God wanted me. So far it’s provided me with opportunities to build community and tools to use in communication, which are both super applicable in ministry. I'm excited to see how it continues to play out in what I am doing now and in the future.

Intern Mondays // How Hulu+ Could Teach Me Patience

Have you met the interns yet? They're pretty amazing. The following post is from Nick Holmstedt a recent graduate of Hamline University. He has a knack for making friends easily and even though he doesn't really like coffee, we try not to hold that against him.

I was agape!  What frustration, what inconvenience!  To be riddled by the cacophony of putrid voice acting that permeates the advertisement industry as I attempt to watch the most recent episode of White Collar.  Yeah, you know.  Hulu Plus.  We have been treated to the delicacies- Netflix, Amazon Prime.  Oh, their functionality just oozes with scrumptious mindlessness.  My mental attendance is allowed tardiness as I dangle my feet off the couch, head back and hoisted by a plush cloud of pillowy goodness. 

Oh no, Hulu Plus could not offer the sweet seclusion of fiction (or non-fiction for you documentary types) alone.   Instead it blunders its offer with boisterous… advertisements.  I shudder at the word.  Advertisements.  Brr.

If I can say anything serious, I should wonder about our patience.  I look at myself and see my aggravation with a simple 2 minute break: a disconnect from something entirely unimportant (in and of itself) anyway.   I could even make use of that time: do something as simple as grabbing a glass of water or doing some pushups (because I do those all the time). 

Maybe we could do with an extra dose of focus.  We are distracted by advertisements but so often television itself is the distraction.  It can be relaxing or it can serve to rest our busied minds.  If our focus is its content, we have to be careful, though, not to fall into the pit of escape.  In my impatience, I would rather dwell in the laziness of fiction than engage in the deep rest of prayer.  Don’t mistake that I am suggesting TV is of the devil and must never be viewed.  It’s what you make of it.  However next time you see an advertisement, try to pull out a Bible verse or two and enjoy the company of God.  Who knows, it could be more exciting than the newest episode of Lost.  Wait, that’s not on anymore?  Guess it really got lost in the times.